I don’t like ranting here but I’m going to take this one time to do it.
I’m starting to come to the conclusion that the person that I had considered a best friend, and who had considered me their best friend, might not actually be what I thought they were. In thinking that they were an alcoholic, I secluded myself from outings because I didn’t want to be around it due to things in my past. After observing things from afar, I’ve come to think that it’s not actually that they’re an alcoholic but that they’re interested in someone where they go every night and happen to drink beer. I’ve not hung out with them - actually hung out and not just sit at a table with coworkers - in roughly three weeks. They’ve went out of town every weekend since then. I feel as if they got what they wanted and is moving on to their next victim. This is why I don’t talk to people and make friends. I’d rather be pessimistic and a shut in than be socially awkward and used.